Psychomerphology of everyday life


Hugo's law

Eat one live toad first thing in the morning - then nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

R.K. Gallagher

It’s bad when your fight ends in surrender, unless it’s with a vending machine.

Batner's Law

The one who laughs last is the slowest thinking.

Carson's Laws of Comedy

1. If the audience bites at the beginning of a joke, they will bite at its salt.

2. It is impossible to insert more than three Hochmas into one beginning.

Competition law

the best performer in your category will perform directly in front of you.

Ellin's Law

The probability of winning the lottery slightly increases if you buy yourself a lottery ticket.

Hellin's law for theater

The tallest person in the audience will sit right in front of you, and only after it is too late for you to look for another place.

A.P. Chekhov's law

If in the first act there is a gun hanging on the wall, then in the last act it should fire.

Watching Avery

The fact that you fell does not matter if you were able to grab something of value from the floor while getting up.

Berkshire Household Budgeting Act

Immediately after you manage to make ends meet, some part of your income is making ends meet.

Stettner's dietary law

The more you like a certain dish, the more harmful it is for you.

Suzanne's law

Each recipe includes one item that you don't have in your home.

Consequence

If this product is required for this dish, then it will not be in your grocery store either.

Temp's Law

Anything cooked in the oven will be either overcooked or undercooked.

Consequence

Anything cooked in the microwave will be both overcooked and undercooked at the same time.

Pulliam's postulate

Never step into anything soft.

Langfield's Gastronomic Law

For humanity, the discovery of a new dish is much more useful than the discovery of a new star.

Barbara's drinking law

When you have a mouthful of food, never say "cool!"

Bombek's law of inheritance

Insanity is inherited; you, for example, got hold of it from your children.

Loving Mommy's Law

Lomaka, who climbs everywhere, is any child who is more talented than yours.

Three ways to do something

1. Do it yourself.

2. Hire someone to do it for you.

3. Forbid your children to do this.

Observation F.P. Jones

Children are unpredictable. You never know what kind of inconsistency they will catch you next time.

The Barnhill Spare Button Principle

For those shirts that are sold with extra buttons, the buttons are never lost.

Kuopi's law for parents

Children make a particularly loud noise as soon as you answer the phone.

Zelli's Corollary

The worse the telephone connection, the louder the children scream.

Cliff's Law

Never stand between a dog and a hydrant.

Fant's Law

When you try to open a locked door with your only free hand, the key always ends up in the opposite pocket.

Lofka's home principle

If you think you left it on, and come back to check, it will be off; if you think you could have left it on and don't come back to check, it will be on.

Mrs Fergus's observations

A lost sock is only re-discovered after a pair has been thrown away.

The suede coat rule

The chances of a sudden downpour are directly proportional to the amount of suede you wear.

Tibbets law of missed opportunities

The only time the big world knocks on your door, you find yourself lying in the bathtub.

Savage's law

A roof leak never occurs in the same spot where it drips onto the floor.

Carlyle's theory

If there are really many keys hanging on your ring, there will always be one that does not open anything.

Ray-Jansen law

The first time you pull the cord, the curtains will move in the wrong direction.

Angela's Law

The last piece of gift wrapping you have left will be fifteen centimeters shorter than the last remaining gift to wrap.

Gina's Law

The lightest fabric attracts the darkest spot.

Lefty Gomez's law

If you don't throw it, you can't get into it.

Crosby's Law

How bad a musical is can be judged by how often the chorus shouts out "Hurray!"

Fulton's Law of Attraction

Trying to catch a falling brittle object can do more damage than if it just fell.

Vile's Queuing Laws

1. If you want to stand in a small queue, it immediately becomes large.

2. If you are waiting in a long line, people behind you suddenly arrange another, short one.

3. If you suddenly leave a short line for a second, it will become long.

4. If you are standing in a short line, people in front of you will let relatives and friends into the line, and the line becomes long.

5. The short queue outside the store becomes long inside the store.

6. If you stand in one place for a long time, then create a queue.

Howden's law

You remember that you need to leave the letter, then, when there is no mailbox nearby.

Mail delivery laws

1. Love letters, business contracts and money always arrive three weeks late.

2. Trivia mail arrives on the day it is sent.

McLaughhin's Law

Among the people who occupy a key position in society, you will always find along the genealogical line some John Smith from London.

Rasche's rule of attraction

When you put coins in the machine, pennies may fall somewhere nearby, but all other coins disappear without a trace.

Reynold's Law of Climatology

The wind speed increases in direct proportion to the cost of the hairstyle.


Watch the video: Civilization and Its Discontents by Sigmund Freud


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