New transcendental merphology


Observation of Bertrand Russell

The essence of philosophy is this: start with something so simple that it seems unworthy of formulation, and end with something so paradoxical that no one is ready to believe it.

Maxim Milley

It's not true that life is one damn abomination after another; in fact, it is one continuous damn abomination that keeps on stretching and stretching.

Maxim Mumford

Traditionalists are pessimists about the future and optimists about the past.

Kegley's law

If a pickpocket meets a saint, he sees only his pockets.

Weinberg's law

Progress is achieved on Fridays, but only every other time.

Denniston's Corollary

If you once did something well and correctly, then there will certainly be a person who will ask you to do it again.

Johnson's Law

If there are only three social events that deserve your attention over the course of several months, they will all fall on the same evening.

McClowry's Supplement

To get the enemy, do someone a good deed.

Hartley's Law

Never go to bed with someone who is even more insane than yourself.

Postal principle

People usually get what they've been sent ... unless it was mailed.

Bertrand Russell's Rule

Don't worry about how to avoid temptations - as you get older, they will start to avoid you.

Colluay's remark

Nothing in the part of the universe we know travels faster than a phony check.

Golden Principle

Nothing would ever be done at all if all possible objections were first required to be refuted.

Harris's lamentation

All good things have already been done, all good ones have already been sorted out.

Nubla's Law on Politics

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected president of the United States.

Consequence

If it is necessary to make a political choice between two bald candidates, American voters will vote for the less bald one.

Ferguson's commandment

A real crisis occurs when you are unable to say, "Let's forget all this."

Sandy's comment

This thing makes sense - but only as long as you don't think about it.

Rule R.A. Wilson

Reality is all that you are able to come to terms with.

Maxima Bernard Shaw

Chastity is not enough temptation.

Rives rule

Everything falls apart on the same day.

Favre's principle

Money made in your own business will soon be lost in someone else's business.

Feminist Dictum

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Friedman's reaction to the feminist dictum

A man without a woman is like a neck without a sore.

Bauerox's law for any job

If you only have one nail, it will bend.

Hove's law

Everyone has their own method in stock that won't work.

Mander's Corollary

Everyone who doesn't work has a method that will definitely work.

Jones and Laird's Law

The toothache tends to start on Saturday night.

Irishman lemma

Faith is the deep conviction that you know is wrong.

Witten's law

As soon as you trim your nails, an hour later it turns out that there is a need for them.

Woodside principle for grocery store

The very bag in which the eggs lie will always break.

Murphy's law of topology

The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Severeid's Law

The main cause of problems is their solution.

Holmes's instruction

It is not harmful to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, consists of other people.

Commoner's Law

Nothing goes anywhere.

Cohn's Law of Murphy

Two nasty things in a row is just the beginning.

The first hakon of road traffic

The slow moving lane in which you had to brake and stop immediately starts moving as soon as you can barely get out of it.

Siya law

Nothing ever ends as planned.

Werner Heisenberg's law

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

Synthetos Consumer Protection Law

The sixty-day warranty period firmly guarantees that this product will self-destruct on the sixty-first day.

Herblock's Law

If it's something good, it will be discontinued soon.

Scofff's law

The child does not spill anything on the dirty floor.

Father Fitzgerald's Rule

Behave as if you are being watched.

Eldridge's Law of Wars

A person is always ready to die for an idea, provided that this idea is not entirely clear to him.

The rule of great people

When a great person for whom you have deep respect and admiration appears to be deep in thought, he is most likely thinking about dinner.

Clarke's third law

Any sufficiently advanced modern technology is indistinguishable from a miracle.

Matz's principle

The conclusion ripens at that moment of your thinking, when you are already tired of thinking.

Severeid's Law

The main cause of problems is their solution.

Haldane's Law

Not only is the universe more strange than we imagine, it is also more strange than we can imagine.

Fowler's remark

The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.

Tallulah Bankhead observation

If I had to live my life again, I would make the same mistakes, but faster.

Maxim Mencken

There is always an easy solution to every human problem — clear, plausible, and wrong.

The golden law of journalism

An article dedicated to errors will definitely contain errors.

Buchner's principle

The most elementary explanation is that everything, it just doesn't make the slightest sense.

The rule of achieving complete success in life

Never say everything you know.

Mrs Murphy's law

If something bad can happen, it will certainly happen - and at that moment when Mr. Murphy is not at home.

Edmond Rostand's note

My pessimism goes so far that I even suspect the sincerity of other pessimists.

Pope's Law

Chipped dishes never break.

Churchill's remark on man

A person sometimes manages to accidentally stumble upon the truth, but most of the time he is engaged in falling, rising and continuing to search.

Tomlin's law

Reality is nothing more than a collective guess.

Prince principle

People who work while sitting are paid more than people who work while standing.

Thurber's Law

It is not given to us to find any security either in numbers or in anything else.

Wincorn's Law

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

Sid's Law

You cannot win all matches unless you win the first one.

McGuire principle

The most beautiful goals are scored the moment you jump out of the house to buy a beer.

Morris law

Any person is able to admit to himself that he acted incorrectly. The real test of character is to admit it to someone else.

Guest rule

The patience of the hosts should never be confused with their hospitality.

Hatala Law

To plan your vacation well, you need to spend more time on the Internet than the vacation itself lasts.

Misner's Law

Poverty loves company, but the company does not reciprocate.

Cranston's Restaurant Law

The richer the menu, the sooner the waiter will approach you in order to take the order.

Arnold Toynbee's rule

In matters of religion, it is very easy to mislead humanity and very difficult to lead out of it.

Farnberg's law

Necessity is the mother of strange friendships and equally strange close relationships.

Meires law

In relationships with people, the most difficult thing to do is usually the right thing.

Heid's Law for Queues

No matter how early you come, there will always be someone in front of closed doors who came earlier.

The first law of travel

It always takes longer to get there than to get back from there.

Stitzer's vacation principle

When preparing for your vacation trip, bring half as much clothing and twice as much money.

Observation of Jasenek

Kissing is a means of placing two people so close to each other that each of them is unable to discern any flaws in the partner.

The moaning of a growing child

Mom said there would be days like this, but she never said that there would be so many.

Vyshkovsky's law

You can make any device work if you spend long enough with it.

Practice law

Tactics that work in theory don't work in practice.

Miller's law

Exceptions prove the rule - and ruin the budget.

Gilly's Law

The worse your haircut is, the slower your hair grows back.

Weatherwakes postulate

The severity of your reaction to the information received is inversely proportional to its accuracy.

Dowling's Law of Photography

One missed opportunity to take a good photo generates the desire to buy two additional camera accessories.

Rule P.K. Dick

Reality is all that refuses to disappear when you stop believing in it.

Observation of Defalqua

A road devoid of obstacles usually leads to nowhere.

Isaac's weird rule of thumb for stale food

1. Anything that is hard when fresh, softens when stale.

2. Everything that is soft when fresh, hardens when not fresh.

Mnrfi law on warehouse stocks

If you don't need it and you don't want it, it will always be in bulk.

Helen's law for sales

If you didn't buy it when you saw it for the first time, then it won't be there when you return.

Beryl's Law

A detailed report on the consumer qualities of the type of product you are interested in will be released a week after you have already made a purchase.

Consequences

1. The model you purchased will be rated unusable.

2. The model that you abandoned at the last moment will receive the rating "most bought".

Milstead's rule

After you have sent your last postcard, you receive a congratulation from the person whom you forgotten to miss.

Lewis law

No matter how long or persistently you have been buying a product, you will still find it somewhere on sale immediately after purchasing it, and much cheaper.

Maxima W.K. Fields

Start every day with a smile, that's enough for you.


Watch the video: Hamburger im Exil: Ernst Cassirer 2019


Previous Article

Inga

Next Article

How to avoid fatigue