Technophology


Pattison Electrical Law

If the wires can be connected in two different ways, the first will blow the fuse.

Farrell's law of newfangled bells and whistles

The most expensive component fails first.

Trouble with equations

1. When solving any real problem in the corresponding system of "x" equations, there are always "x + 1" unknowns.

2. The piece of information that is most needed will be the least available.

3. As soon as you have exhausted all possibilities and gave up, as soon as the solution is found - simple and obvious, which immediately comes to mind to any outsider.

4. Trouble never comes alone.

Finman's mathematical law

Nobody wants to read someone else's formulas.

Von Neumann's observations

In mathematics, you don't get to understand different things over time. You are just getting used to them.

Productivity law

When bosses talk about improving productivity, they never mean themselves.

Rap's Law

If you disassemble something many times and then reassemble it, then eventually you will have it in two copies.

Anthony's law

Any dropped tool is rolled into the most inaccessible corner of the workshop.

Consequence

On the way to this corner, the fallen tool will certainly hit you in the leg first.

Ray's rule for accuracy

1. Measure with a micrometer.

2. Mark with chalk.

3. Chop off with an ax.

The prudent hack rule

Save all the details.

Johnson's Law

Any cunning mechanical device fails at the most inopportune moment.

An annoying law

If, in the process of doing some work, you remove a tool that you probably should not need anymore, an urgent need immediately arises.

Sattinger's Law

Any device works better if you plug it in.

Fadd's Law of Action and Reaction

Push something hard enough and it will inevitably fall off.

Anthony's Law of Strength

Do not use force - better use a larger hammer.

Kahn's axiom

When all else fails, read the instructions.

Hecht's law

There is no better time to put off what you do not feel like doing than right now.

Parkinson's second law

Costs rise to match income.

Full employment principle

Confusion and confusion create jobs.

Byrne Concreting Act

When you pour concrete, it will rain.

The second law for any job

If you need to screw four bolts, then you can always find only three suitable nuts.

Cole's comment

Every new project requires a tool that you don't have.

Rules for any machines and mechanisms

1. After a device has been disassembled and then assembled, nothing will work.

2. The last turn of any bolt or nut will rip the threads on them or cause them to burst.

Consequence

Without this last turn, the specified bolt or nut will fall off.

Product Test Law

An item selected at random from a group that is 99 percent reliable will be in the 1 percent group.

Maxima Campbell

Hell is a place where everything is perfectly tested and nothing works.



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