Cybermerphology


Crane's law

In standby mode, the performance of all computers is the same.

Harris' warning

The real danger is not that computers will start to think like humans, but that humans will start thinking like computers.

Junior's Law

Computers make very fast and very accurate mistakes.

Minsky's law

A computer has not yet been developed that is aware of what it is doing, but for the most part we are not aware of that either.

The third law of printing

Immediately after you leave the printer, it will jam the paper.

Murphy's computer laws

1. No matter how many resources you have, they are never enough.

2. If the program fits into RAM and there is enough disk space, then it is guaranteed to hang or generate an alarm message.

3. If such a program has not yet been bent, then it is simply waiting for a critical moment, after which it will probably die forever.

4. All components are obsolete.

5. The rate of obsolescence of components is directly proportional to their price.

6. Software bugs cannot be detected by anyone other than the end user.

Reichart's Law for the Internet

The link you want to click on will be loaded most recently.

McMahon's rule

Regardless of what exactly you are looking for on the Internet, at least one porn site will match your search criteria.

Knowles Laws.

1. The number of false matches returned from a search grows exponentially depending on how urgently you need to find data.

2. The correctness of language use declines faster than advances in technology.

Email law

Misprints and misprints remain unnoticed until the "send" button is pressed.

Soutine's law

The most enjoyable thing is to do on the computer what is most useless.

McChristie's Computer Axioms

1. Backup files are never complete or latest.

2. Software errors can be corrected only after it has been declared obsolete.

Beizer's Computer Axiom

When storing something in the computer's memory, remember where you put it.

Steinbach's directive

Never test the system for an error situation if you do not know how to deal with it.

Murphy's laws of technology

1. Logic is a systematic method for reaching wrong conclusions with complete confidence.

2. The range of application of the computer is only within the length of its power cord.

3. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

Brook's law

Adding additional staff to a lagging software project makes it even more lagging.

The laws of the computer community agree with Golub

1. To avoid such an unpleasant activity as a thorough assessment of the costs of achieving the goals of the project, the latter is given the most vague character.

2. A carelessly planned project takes three times longer than expected; a carefully planned project only takes twice as long to complete.

3. The effort required to adjust the progress of work grows exponentially as the deadline approaches.

4. Design teams hate weekly progress reports because they clearly show their lack of progress.

Osborne's axiom

Computers don't have intelligence ... they only think they have it.



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