A child who, in a nursery or in a kindergarten, is trying to take a bottle from each of the kids, at home will refuse to eat and throw his bottle in a corner.
1. If something lies on your floor, sooner or later it will get into your child's mouth.
2. If something is in your child's mouth, sooner or later it will fall on the floor.
Your child is most likely not to get sick if they eat:
1. Half the ice cream that he found and picked up in the park.
2. Half a hot dog that he found and picked up in the menagerie.
3. The stub of a cigarette he found and picked up in the mud.
4. A dead beetle that he found and picked up on the floor in your dining room.
5. Used chewing gum that he found glued under the restaurant table.
6. A few pieces of dry food "Pedigri" for dogs. If you see him eating all this nasty stuff, you yourself will get sick.
Take the following precautions before letting your baby burp:
1. Open all windows and doors to ventilate the room.
2. Spread a wet cloth on the floor.
3. Put on your bathrobe and shower cap.
4. Pour a full bath of water.
You are probably waiting too long to wean your baby if:
1. Your child already has their first dentist appointment.
2. Your child is already enrolled in a college in another city.
3. Your son has a full beard.
4. When entering a bar, your little son is no longer required to have a document indicating his age.
5. Your daughter has not had her period on time ...
The longer it takes them to wash their hands, the higher the chances that they won't eat anything at all for lunch.
1. When they sit at the dinner table, they are not hungry.
2. When they are in the family car, they are very hungry.
Your kids will never try a new dish if it doesn't:
1. Deep fried.
2. Thickly covered with ketchup.
3. Cool sprinkled with salt.
4. Lay in a plastic fast food container.
5. Bleed glaze.
6. Fully candied.
7. Swim in syrup.
1. If it is green, it is disgusting and "byaka".
2. If it's sweet, that's class.
3. If it is "useful to you", forget about it forever.
1. The main reason children eat lunch and dinner is to get their hands on dessert.
2. The more appetizing the dessert, the more space they will leave for it.
P.S. Don't even try to convince them that fruit is a dessert.
The more vigorously they chop the icing, the less cake they will eat.
The number of cookies you actually manage to bake is inversely proportional to the number of children who "helped" you to make it.
1. You may be able to persuade your little one to help you cook.
2. You will never be able to persuade your baby to help you clear the table and put things in order.
If you don't let your child leave the table until he has eaten all the vegetables, his tummy will ache and you will have to spend the whole night on his feet changing his sheets.
Children do not eat any food where different ingredients are mixed together. Except ice cream with sundaes, nuts and syrup.
More than half of the food that babies try to stuff into their mouths ends up on the floor instead, on the chairs, as well as on their knees, aprons and faces. And this is great for helping them not to gain excess weight.
Toddlers will not eat baked goods if they are not sprinkled with sugar or coated with icing - preferably both at once.
1. The most favorite way to eat cookies is slowly, right in front of one of the brothers or sisters.
2. The cookie also serves to crush it all over the house. (After all, someone has to feed the cockroaches too.)
3. It is good to hide half-eaten cookies in the gaps between the cushions.
1. Children do not eat meat if it contains at least traces of bacon ... they are "allergic" to it.
2. Lard is microscopic particles of a substance found by children on those pieces of meat that they do not want to eat.
3. Children are also "allergic" to all vegetables, cheap meats and any hot food.
1. A child who loves carrots wears bifocals.
2. A child who loves sardines does not whip math even in third grade.
3. A child who eats only all sorts of rubbish from surrogates is a first-class athlete.
4. A child who goes to the pool to swim right from the table wins the competition.
1. The longer you cook the dish, the longer it will remain uneaten.
2. The healthier and more nutritious the dish, the more energetically your kids shout: "What disgusting!"
The straws are not for drinking at all, they are intended to:
1. Keep the liquid inside the tube (by sucking it in and then putting your finger to the hole).
2. Make the drink gurgle and bubble.
3. Blow a paper ball into someone's eye.
1. Children do not eat custard cakes. Only the stuff they're stuffed with.
2. Children don't eat peas. They chew it to make a puree.
3. Children do not eat mashed potatoes. They pour sauce over it to get as much smear as possible.
4. Children don't eat crusts. They leave them to the birds.
5. Children don't eat spinach. They compress it so that it takes up less space and is less conspicuous to you.
6. Children don't eat Brussels sprouts. They chop off her heads.
7. Children don't eat spaghetti. They suck the sauce out of them.
8. Children don't eat milkshakes. They blow bubbles in a glass of cocktail.
9. Children don't eat ice cream on a stick. From above it is too frozen, but from below it drips heavily ..
10. Children don't chew gum. They swallow it ... by accident.
1. The only type of vegetables your child eats with great pleasure are candied beans.
2. The only type of seafood that your child obviously eats is sea pebbles.
3. The only green food that your child readily eats is mint ice cream with chocolate chips.
4. The only time your child did not go into the refrigerator for a container of soft drinks (instead of milk or juice) is if he himself put it in the refrigerator empty.
The less your kids eat during the main meal, the more likely they are to ask for a supplement.
When it comes to dessert, the child's appetite is practically unlimited.
Even after you crush the fate of the starving masses with a deep sense of mercy, your child will still not touch spinach, broccoli, or cauliflower.
1. Your child never wants to go potty before dinner.
2. Your child should always go to the potty after everyone sits down at the table and starts eating. After your child leaves the table to go to the potty, you will not see him again - until it is time for dessert.