No boss will keep a subordinate who is always right.
No matter how well you do your job, your boss will try to correct the results.
The one who does the least amount of work attributes the most credit to himself.
Your best ideas are immediately adopted by the senior partners of the law firm as their own.
In a hierarchical system, only information about who knows what is important.
A person's salary and rank are inversely proportional to the speed of his speech.
Only the head dog notices the change in route.
Only the bureaucracy is capable of fighting the bureaucracy.
Tomorrow is the most deadly form of rejection.
If you have "your own person" in some organization, he will be the first to be fired during the reorganization.
Bureaucracy can wait out everything.
Never get stuck between two bureaucrats.
Confusion creates jobs.
Any bureaucratic system reorganized with the goal of increasing efficiency immediately becomes indistinguishable from its predecessor.
Each organization has a specially stipulated number of vacancies that must be filled by kinks.
If one idiot leaves, another will be taken in his place.
The time spent discussing any item on the agenda is inversely proportional to the amount of money that is associated with it.
A memo is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
An exclusion granted to someone becomes a legal right expected the next time the same request is made.
If you stand up during the roll call, someone else will immediately take your place.
A meeting is an event where minutes are saved on minutes and hours are spent talking.
The effectiveness of any committee meeting is inversely proportional to the number of participants and the time spent on debates.
The length of the meeting increases in direct proportion to the square of the number of people present.
1. Any simple problem can be made insoluble if a sufficient number of meetings are convened to discuss it.
2. As soon as a proposal is presented for consideration, allowing to fail a certain project, it will certainly be approved as the most sensible solution.
3. After this project has been overwhelmed with the help of this decision, all those who initially approved of it will say: "It is a pity that I did not voice my doubts at that time."
The commission is twelve people who do the work of one.
When people come together in groups, people tend to agree with actions that, individually, they would probably find stupid.
The Commission is the only life form that has twelve stomachs but no brain at all.
Those who are most opposed to participation in commissions are made chairpersons.
The only changes that are easily accepted are changes for the worse.
1. Never show up on time or you will be branded a beginner.
2. Don't say anything until the meeting is halfway to completion - this will characterize you as a wise person.
3. Speak as vaguely as possible to avoid annoying other members of the commission.
4. If in doubt, suggest creating a subcommittee.
5. Be the first to suggest taking a break. Such a step will make you popular - after all, everyone here is waiting for this.
Offering a break is always appropriate and always welcome.
Those who are unable to learn from past meetings are condemned to re-sit on them.