Household Merphology


Sex law

You can't fall off the floor.

Chapman's Commentary on the Law of Gender

Children need three years to learn the law of gender.

O'Toole's axiom

One child in the house is not enough, but two is too much.

Scoff's law

The child will not spill or spill anything on a dirty floor.

Van Roy law

An unbreakable toy is useful for smashing others with it.

The laws of offspring behavior proposed by Whitzling

1. A child chatting at home without a break will categorically refuse to utter a word at a party.

2. Any shy child will choose a crowded place to loudly demonstrate the newly acquired vocabulary ("damn it", etc.).

Fish's laws of animal behavior

1. The likelihood that the cat will eat the offered food has nothing to do with the price of the latter.

2. The likelihood that a family pet (cat or dog) will make a noise running in and out of the room is directly proportional to the number and importance of guests invited to dinner.

The principle of the pet

No matter which side of the door the cat or dog is on, they are always in the wrong place.

Ringwald's Law of Home Murphology

Any horizontal surface will soon build up.

Bellance's law of relativity

The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.

The law of relativity for children

Time goes slower in a fast-moving carriage.

Britt's Green Thumb Rule

The probable lifespan of a houseplant is inversely proportional to its price and directly proportional to its unattractive appearance.

Retransmission laws

1. If you have already watched some part of the series on TV and suddenly watch it again, you will find yourself on a repeat of the same episode.

2. Two interesting programs are always broadcast at the same time.

3. The only broadcast of interest will be canceled.

4. The program you have been waiting for all week will be shown earlier than it appears in the program.

Bess's Universal Principles

1. The phone will ring when you are in front of the apartment and try unsuccessfully to open it.

2. You grab the handset just when the hang-up signals sound in it.

Kovak's riddle

If the wrong number is dialed, there will never be a busy tone.

Ryan's application of Parkinson's Law

Shopping strives to fill all available storage space.

A consequence of Parkinson's law for adolescents proposed by Fiske

The stomach stretches to accept all the food that is useless from the point of view of adults (lemonade, Pepsi-Cola, candy, etc.).

Terema Bella

When the body is submerged in water, the phone rings.

Stitzer's Vacation Principle

When you go on vacation, take twice as much money as your belongings.

Snyder's Law

Nothing can be done in one trip.

Esther's Law

The most fussy person will surely come across a coffee cup with a chink, a glass of lipstick or hair in soup.

Horowitz's Law

Whenever you turn on the radio, you always hear the last notes of your favorite song.

Gerard's law

When there is enough money in the bank, the bills are paid in two weeks, if there is little money the next day.

Supermarket law

The quality of the product is inversely proportional to the size of the store.

Seymour's Investment Principle

Never invest in anything that bites.

The first law of Pantus

The book you paid $ 10.95 for today will be released tomorrow in paperback.

Riley's "Murphy's Law"

1. Stores selling the first book will not have the second.

2. The stores selling the second book will not be the first.

3. Ed Murphy has never heard of any of these books.

Weill's law of value

The higher the value of the product, the further it has to be sent for repair.

Finman's basic principle in trade

What you need is never on sale.

Baker's Corollary of Finman's Basic Principle in Trading

What you can afford to buy, you do not want to buy.

Glazer's Law

If the product label says: "For any size" - know that this thing will not suit anyone.

Murray's laws

1. Never ask the hairdresser if you need a haircut.

2. Never ask the seller if he is asking too much for the product.


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