Murphy's Laws of Ethics


The Law of Situational Ethics

It is much easier to preach what you are practicing than it is to practice what you preach.

Tallulah Bankhead's protest

(Bankhead Tallulah Brockman (1903-1968) - American actress, famous for her wit, brilliant appearance, hoarse voice, excellent roles in many plays and films, mainly pre-war. She was the daughter of the Speaker of the House of Representatives of the Written States, dropped out of school at the age of 15 She made her theatrical debut in 1918 in New York; was a success on the London stage from 1923 to 1931. Twice was recognized by New York theater critics as the best actress of the season.)

Never practice two vices at once.

Sin strategy

It is better to sin and feel guilty than never to sin at all.

Moral difference

There is a huge difference between right and wrong. The problem is how to figure out which one is which.

A categorically immoral imperative

Never let your morality get in the way of doing the wrong thing at the right time.

Chastity law

In fact, chastity and virginity are directly detrimental to your wisdom and effectiveness. But sometimes chastity is the best policy.

Precious present

Sin now, pray later.

Trust but verify

When you are not with the one you love, then you love the one with whom you are. Until the one you love knows who you are with.

Confidence crisis

1. Your children will not believe that at seven in the morning you are meeting at your house with "Uncle Albert from Kansas City, who is passing through here."

2. Nor will they believe that he is "a plumber who dropped by early in the morning to take care of our pipes."

Aging effect

The older you get, the less you need to worry about how to avoid temptation ... and the more you need to worry about how to find that very temptation.

Trial by temptation

If you resist temptation, it may never return.

The question for 64,000 bucks

What do you say when you really have a headache?

Theater award for the last act

Sex is often referred to as an "act" precisely because the characters, as in the theater, often turn it into a cheap and false farce.

Two diametrically opposed views

1. When you touch a man the way you would like to be touched your body, he says: "Stronger."

2. When he touches you the way he would like to touch his body you say: "Softer."

Scientific criteria for the use of the word "no"

It makes sense to say no if:

1. You just spent 50 bucks to finally get your head in order.

2. Your side of the bed is warm and his side is cold.

3. He didn't shower, shampoo, shave, file his nails, or brush his teeth.

4. He's not a Hollywood hottie.

Scientific criteria for the use of the word "yes"

It makes sense to say yes if:

1. There is nothing to watch on TV.

2. The TV in your bedroom is broken.

3. Your side of the bed is cold and his side is warm.

4. He bought you spazmalgol, tempalgin, aspirin and potassium cyanide to finally cure your chronic headache problem.

5. He is a Hollywood handsome man.


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