1. Solutions for all your child's problems are found in Dr. Spock's book.
2. By the time you take this book off the shelf and find the page you are looking for, you will have two new problems that urgently need to be addressed.
1. When babies cry continuously for no apparent reason, they probably have "colic".
2. When your child has colic, you may cry without stopping for no apparent reason, even though you do not have any colic. You are simply tired to the limit, and you have no strength or nerves left.
Book a first class cabin for two on a slow-speed liner to China and take your child on a cruise with his deaf nanny.
1. The more naughty your child is, the longer you will have to wait in the waiting room before seeing the doctor.
2. The longer you wait in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait in the examination room.
3. The longer you wait in the examination room, the less time the doctor will spend on you and your baby.
There is no known remedy for stomach cramps or common rhinitis.
Result: you will catch a cold and get a runny nose, which you cannot get rid of later if you listen all night to see if your child is moaning from stomach cramps.
No matter how terrible thoughts may be wandering in your head about your child's illness, all the same, calling your pediatrician, you hope to hear from him: "Do not worry. Your child's condition is absolutely normal."
The more important it is to pour all of the medicine into your baby's tummy, the more likely it will all end up on his or your clothes.
1. When baby medicine is clear and non-staining, it never spills.
2. If the medicine is bright red, it will flood the whole child, you, and along with the furniture.
1. If you do not allow your son to play doctor, he will become a gynecologist when he grows up.
2. A boy who plays doctor with all the girls in the neighborhood will become a priest when he grows up.
Poor posture is not at all due to the child slouching. It arises from the fact that he:
1. Reads books.
2. Prepares for exams.
3. Participates in scientific projects to improve their school rating.
4. He sings on the violin all day.
5. Eats too many vegetables.
By the time you manage to book your sick child for a doctor's appointment, they'll be back in school and even set a new record for the number of squats.
1. Eat an apple a day - and forget about the doctors.
2. You cannot force your child to eat one apple a month - where can we talk about one apple a day!
3. That is why there are more than 24,000 highly wealthy pediatricians in North America today.
1. If the yard is damp, your child will definitely catch a cold.
2. If it's cold outside, your child will certainly catch the flu.
3. If it's hot outside, your child is likely to become dehydrated.
4. If the weather is perfect, your child will play outside and get poisoned by toadstools, which grow excellently even on asphalt in such weather.
A spoonful of sugar will help your child swallow the medication, and it will also help your pediatrician and dentist get rich.
Relatives who come to visit you and bring a box of chocolates with them never pay your dentist bills.
It is best to plan your teenagers' trips to the dentist for the year they have their hardest class. Otherwise, they will not go to him for any price.
Acne never appears due to excessive consumption of chocolate. In fact, acne appears when:
1. Make the bed.
2. Wash your hands before eating.
3. Flush the toilet.
4. Close the refrigerator door.
5. They wash the dishes.
6. Take out the trash.
7. Turn off the light after themselves.
When you visit an orthodontist with your teen, remember to admire his brand new car ... it was bought with your money.