Waterproof diapers get very wet.
The sooner you check your child's diaper, the sooner you will find that it is wet.
The more often you change your little son's diapers, the more often he will soak them.
Fathers react to "unusual smells" from their babies with a line: "I think it's time for you to go to mommy now."
Daddies don't like being woken up in the middle of the night ... after all, they have to go "to work" the next day.
After you have spent the whole day swinging the child and singing all the songs to him in a row, if only he fell asleep, daddy will come home and wake up the baby to do a "gymnastic warm-up" with him.
1. You can hear your baby crying well even if all the doors are closed, you have a pillow on your head, and cotton swabs are stuck in your ears.
2. Fathers with perfectly normal hearing are unable to hear absolutely nothing at night.
Whenever you put on special pads for a nursing mother, you do not have any need for them. The only time you go out on people without these pads, your blouse will get wet through and through.
1. The more expensive the child's jumpsuit, the more difficult it is to pull it on.
2. The more painful the time it takes to get dressed, the sooner the child will get dirty or burp.
3. The amount of belching is directly proportional to how well the child and yourself are dressed.
The more expensive a set of children's clothes you bought, the sooner the child will grow out of it.
1. When your child is dressed up and looks perfect, there will be no film in your camera.
2. When you aim the camera at your smiling child, he immediately starts crying.
A clean weekend suit attracts baby vomit as well as cat hair.
The best sale for kids' clothes will start advertising the next day after you've bought your child a full set of school clothes.
The more expensive the jacket your child wears to school, the more likely they are:
1. Rip open your pocket during recess.
2. Leaves a permanent felt-tip pen in your pocket for the whole day - with the cap removed.
3. Will give a friend to wear a jacket.
4. Lose her.
1. Your child has not put on a hat - it means that it is snowing or outside.
2. Your child hasn't put on his boots - it means that it is raining outside.
3. Your child is not wearing an undershirt, which means it's cold outside.
4. Your child is not wearing the thing that you would like him to wear - regardless of the weather. ENEMY OF THE FAMILY BUDGET Your grown-up child is able to spend more money on a single item than you spend on your wardrobe for a whole year
1. If the thing fits well, but is out of fashion, they will not wear it.
2. If a thing fits well and has not gone out of fashion, but is no longer brand new, they will not wear it either.
When you buy a wardrobe item for your teenager as a gift, you will most likely hear the following response: "This will only be worn by a baby girl!"
The more you loathe your daughter's newest outfit, the more often she will wear it.