Murphy's laws of work


1. The boss is not always right, but he is always the boss.

2. The time spent on discussing the problem is inversely proportional to the significance of the problem.

3. If you need to do something urgently, turn to the one who is most busy.

4. Anyone who does nothing himself, everything seems to be on the shoulder.

5. The boss is a person who comes to the service late, when you come early, and appears a little light when you are late.

6. Only when you read the explanation of the previously received instruction, you guess that you did not understand the instruction itself, nor the explanations to it.

7. If you postpone the matter for a long time, then it will either be performed by someone else, or it will cease to be necessary at all.

8. Don't be irreplaceable - you will never be promoted.

9. Behind anyone who has made a successful career stands a bewildered woman.

10. Freedom of speech means for the boss the freedom to interrupt the speaker, and for the subordinate the freedom to keep his mouth shut.

11. The worse a person copes with a job, the less chance of getting rid of him.

12. If you work eight hours a day every day, you can eventually become a boss and work twelve hours a day.

13. Successful promotion does not depend on those who are happy with you, but on those whom you do not annoy.

14. The smaller the position, the more noticeable your absence from the workplace.

15. Every decision is made more than once.

16. You can always make another suggestion.

17. All offers of help should be divided by four.

18. A man is considered a smart worker until proven otherwise, a woman is considered stupid until proven otherwise.

19. No matter how carefully you plan what you will do, working time is still spent on something completely different.

20. People spare no effort to just do nothing.

21. Eight people do the work of ten better than twelve.

22. Relax - there is enough stress for everyone.

23. On the day when you decided to skip work, you wake up a little light.

24. If you look like your passport photo, then it's time for you to go on vacation.

25. The only thing I ask for is give me a chance to make sure that money cannot make me happy.

26. Vital papers always demonstrate their vital importance by spontaneously moving from the place where you put them to the place where you cannot find them.

27. When you have done something that no one else has done before you, people are not able to appreciate how difficult it was.

28. Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who know what they do not control, and those who control what they do not know.

29. Don't worry if something is wrong. If everything worked as it should, you would be out of work.

30. Surprise your boss ... show up for work on time.

31. If that doesn't work, change the documentation.

32. Never look for a defect that you cannot fix.

33. If you cannot learn to do it well, learn to enjoy what you have done anyway.

34. If you think you are having difficulties this week, wait a bit and see what happens next week!

35. Experience is accumulated in direct proportion to the destroyed equipment.

36. If there is nothing you can do to succeed, review the criteria for success.

37. Marketing is a common university sale.

38. No one has ever died from hard work. But why tempt fate?

39. Time flies when you don't know what to do.

40. Time is an illusion, lunchtime is doubly.

41. Reputation is what others do not know about you.

42. A camel is a horse planned by a committee.

43. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain ... most do so.

44. The strongest camel carries the biggest load.


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