All actions of a person are largely determined by the level of his self-esteem. As a rule, the reason for this is rooted in childhood.
It is in childhood that the capabilities of each person are still poorly developed, and the formation of self-esteem is already underway. “You don’t understand anything!”, “Again you failed, muddler!”, “Stupid, how many times do you repeat the same thing!”. Yes Yes! Parents are currently very contributing to the fact that their child grows up and feels incapable of anything.
Self-esteem can significantly decrease at one point in an adult. The reason for this may be news, for example, about layoffs at work, betrayal or betrayal of a loved one. Temperament type also plays a role in shaping self-esteem.
Take choleric, for example. Self-esteem in such a person can change several times a day. But in a phlegmatic or sanguine person, it is stable. Clearly low self-esteem is characteristic of melancholic people. There are times when self-esteem is clearly overestimated, but this is usually only characteristic of very young people.
Low self-esteem can manifest itself in different ways. Someone resembles a gray mouse and never takes the initiative. And someone, on the contrary, seeks to prove their worth. Both the first and the second groups of persons have the same problem - low self-esteem. It poisons life, does not give the opportunity to fully realize their abilities and, as a result, prevents them from achieving what they want.
Improving the self-esteem of a person is a rather lengthy process, but it is quite possible to do it. And what's more, almost everyone will benefit from conscious attempts to build self-esteem. What are some of the techniques that will help boost your self-esteem?
The first rule can be called preventive, and it concerns parents. The child must understand that he is loved exactly as he is. Do not inspire a child from childhood that he cannot and does not know anything. Praise him if he did something well and carefully criticize the act, but not the child himself.
Do not think constantly about how you want to increase your self-esteem, do not dwell on this issue. Just live! Know what you want, you will definitely achieve!
Don't compare yourself to anyone else. To surpass everyone is not an end in itself, it does not need to be done. You can only compare yourself with yourself: look how you are today, compared to what you were yesterday.
Don't judge yourself. If you are negative about your abilities and your loved one, you will never be able to develop the level of self-esteem you want. Self-deprecating comments about any aspect of your life (eg, financial and career status, physical appearance and personal life, etc.) should always be avoided. Your statements about yourself form the basis for correcting your self-esteem.
Respond with gratitude to congratulations and compliments. You deserve them! Do not belittle your dignity by responding to a compliment something like this: "Yes, nothing special ...". Remember that in this case you are unconsciously lowering your self-esteem, forming in yourself the idea that you do not deserve and are not worthy of these praises.
Once you decide to do something, you shouldn't put it off indefinitely. In doing so, you program yourself to fear overwhelming difficulties.
Try to do something new, something you have never done before. From the fact that you do it, you will get a lot of positive emotions.
To increase self-esteem, you can effectively use affirmations (statements). What it is? Everything is very simple! All our habits are stored on a subconscious level. We don't think about how, for example, we lace up our shoes. Once we were just learning how to do it, but now this procedure has become a deeply rooted habit. Statements (verbal phrases) such as "I love myself", "I will succeed", "I believe in myself", "I am attractive", posted on a frequently used item (this could be, for example, your wallet or handbag ) program you to change your self-image. Repeat the affirmations you have written, it is repetition that is the key to the work of these "formulas". An adult, as a rule, thinks not in images, but in words, therefore, in words and increase your self-esteem. Get positive emotions from this process. Get rid of such attitudes as "life gets worse and worse every year", "Why should I do this." Such affirmations are negative in nature, which is deposited in your self-awareness. Make it a habit to think positively about yourself. All this will greatly enhance the effect of the impact.
How do I write affirmations? First, come up with them yourself, do not use affirmations from books, the Internet, etc. Second, your new attitudes must be presented in an affirmative way. Thirdly, you and your actions should become the basis of "formulas".
Change your lifestyle. Sign up for a gym. Or maybe start doing morning exercises? As the saying goes, a healthy mind is in a healthy body. Updating your wardrobe will be very effective (you, in fact, are starting a new life). Go to the hairdresser. It seems to be little things, but they are very significant in increasing self-esteem. Take a fresh look at yourself.
Ask additional questions to the interlocutor if something is not clear to you. Believe me, it's better than getting yourself into trouble more than once.
Demonstrating your worth is not an indicator of high self-esteem. What is self-esteem? This is an indicator of how a person assesses his ability to achieve a set goal. Thus, self-esteem does not need external manifestations, explicit "loud" allusions to it are not needed.
Be optimistic. You cannot live in constant dissatisfaction with everything. The result of this attitude will only be that you become a dull grump.
Forget feeling dissatisfied with yourself. Why scold yourself? This will not increase your self-esteem, this is a fact. Praise yourself for your success.
Don't make excuses. If you are wrong or there is still a need for justification, then you need to explain the act in a confident and calm voice. Remember that a very miserable impression is created by a person who explains his act by mumbling of justification.
Forget about fear. What you are afraid of may not happen. Rather than being afraid of something that did not happen, it is better to assess what you will do if it does happen. Even negative experiences are helpful in building your self-esteem.
Do not blame yourself for being imperfect. There are no perfect people, so allow yourself to be imperfect. Are you doing something worse than others? But you cannot be perfect in every way. Something else you are undoubtedly doing better than others.
Help other people. You will not only receive their gratitude, but you will also provide a "growth" in your self-esteem, you will feel more valuable in society. All in your hands.
Surround yourself with positive people. You will feel much better in the company of people who accept you and who are confident.
Your accomplishments can boost your self-esteem. Have you learned how to snowboard? Fine! List this achievement on a specially compiled list. Have you got your driver's license? This is also very important to you. Review the list periodically and be satisfied with what you have done. Feel once again the joy that seized you at the time of such important achievements.
Another way to boost your self-esteem is to list your inherent positive qualities. At least twenty qualities you must record on a specially designated sheet of paper. Are you selfless and honest? Are you helpful? Be supportive of yourself. This list should also be reviewed regularly by you. But in no case should you focus on your shortcomings. They form the basis of your low self-esteem. You will not achieve anything good if you focus on the negative aspects of your character. Pay attention to your merits, and you will definitely achieve what you want.
Do the business that you like. Unloved work can never raise your self-esteem, because on it you feel depressed. As you enjoy your work, you won't even notice how your self-esteem will rise. In the case when the work does not bring satisfaction, and changing it does not seem real, then there is always the opportunity to find some hobbies for yourself, to which you will devote your free time.
Be yourself. You have to live your life the way you want, otherwise you will not be able to respect yourself. Low self-esteem comes from situations where you make decisions according to the opinions of family and friends, but not your own. For example, if you are an applicant and enter a certain faculty only because your relatives want it and your friends advise you, then you run the risk of having uninteresting work and low self-esteem in the future.
Take action! By sitting still, you will not achieve anything, including increasing your self-esteem. Your sense of self-esteem grows in proportion to your desire to act, to accept challenges. Don't let feelings of anxiety and fear drag out your decision. Remember that you are unique and have great potential.
By raising your level of self-esteem, you will gain peace of mind and reveal your true abilities. You will not be afraid of rejection, but you will take more risk. You will make decisions on your own, and not copy someone else's will. You will receive satisfaction and joy from your activities. Take action!