By getting married, any man wants to maintain a relationship. But life turns out to be unpredictable - many families fall apart without passing the test of time and everyday life. And who is to blame for this? Is there only one person? It is worth honestly admitting that the husband has a great responsibility. The wife deserves special treatment.
Gerald Rogers gives advice on how to keep your family and become a good husband. He himself got divorced, which allowed him to rethink his life and draw certain conclusions. Now he understands how and for what he should have fought.
Rogers is not a certified expert, but 16 years of marriage gives him the opportunity to realize all his mistakes. Now he advises not to repeat his negative experience.
Don't stop in courtship. Men who are married feel that their task of conquering women is over. You should never assume that a woman is a prize winning. When we ask her to marry us, it is implied that we will be the owner of her heart and protector of feelings. This is the most sacred treasure that we have inherited in life. Don't forget - she chose us. Always remember this and do not be lazy in expressing your feelings for your beloved.
Protect your heart. It is not enough to be the defender of a woman's heart, one must also keep one's own, showing vigilance in this matter. You should love yourself, be open to the world around you, but at the same time keep a special place in your soul. There should be no access to anyone except the wife. Let the heart always be open for her, and only for her.
Fall in love again and again. We will constantly change, tomorrow we will be different, not what we were yesterday. Moreover, the spouses who have lived together for years are also changing. You should be prepared for changes to come. Based on this, you will have to choose each other again every day. And the chosen one should not just be there, her heart must be won every time, like the first. If this is not done, she will give her heart to another, and it will already be difficult to return her beloved. The advice is simple - fight for your love every day in marriage, just like during courtship.
See only the best in her. It is worth focusing on what you love about her and constantly expanding these boundaries. If you think only about her shortcomings, then this will result in only one irritation. The focus is exclusively on love, if it does not help, then it redeems in this bright feeling. Seeing what you love this person for, you can become the happiest person on the planet who has such a wonderful spouse.
It is not our task to change it. The husband's task is to love her for who she is, without expecting or demanding changes from her. If this did happen, then you need to love the woman the way she has become. And this is also part of a responsible relationship.
Take full responsibility for your feelings. It should be understood that it is not the wife's job to make you happy or sad. We ourselves are responsible for this, the joy born within us will result in harmonious relationships and love.
Never blame your wife for an outburst or upset. Are we angry, and it seems to us that the wife is to blame for all the problems? But these are our feelings and our responsibility for them. When there is a feeling that anger is beginning to manifest itself, you need to quickly look at yourself from the outside and find ways to suppress anger. After all, once this woman attracted us to her, it means that she is the person who is best suited for healing childhood mental trauma. And when we learn to heal them together, they will cease to bother us, there will be only bewilderment from the past behavior.
Let the woman just be herself. When she's upset or sad, it's not our job to fix it. A man should support his chosen one and let her know that nothing terrible has happened and that he is next to her. It is important that the woman understands that she is being heard, that she is important to her husband. He should remain someone on whom you can always rely. The female soul is saturated with emotions, everything is changing rapidly. Some feelings leave, they are replaced by others. But she will trust a strong and impartial partner and open her whole soul. Don't turn away and run away when she's upset. Be strong and make it clear that you are not going anywhere. And it's worth listening to what is actually behind the words and emotions.
Be silly. Don't be too serious all the time. Give free rein to your laughter and teach your beloved this. Having fun makes life easier. Just do not overdo it in this field.
Fill her soul every day. We need to learn the language of her love and those small features that she considers important. A man should make a list of the things that make his wife feel loved. And then they should be remembered and given priority every day. Let her feel like a princess, whose every day is like a small holiday.
Be there. You must give your wife not only your time, but also your attention. Let in moments of communication the head be freed from its own affairs and routine. Give yourself completely to her, showing that her problems are the most important thing. The wife is the most important client in your life and should be treated this way.
Get ready to embrace her sexuality. A rude man who only wants to consume the female body is an option that should be used only occasionally. The woman wants us to penetrate the very depths of her tender soul. Allow yourself to melt into her gentleness so she can trust you completely.
Don't be an idiot. You can't be a fool, but you can't be afraid of getting into ridiculous situations either. No one is immune from this. All of us make mistakes, both men and women. You just need to try to avoid serious mistakes, and if they did happen, then you need to learn from this experience. We cannot be perfect, but trying not to be stupid is quite real.
Give her space. Women share themselves so much and with quality that sometimes it is necessary to remember about her development and personal space. Let her have the freedom and time to find herself and develop. It is worth letting a woman go for a while, and she will certainly return with fresh emotions and impressions. It is especially important to give her freedom when children have appeared in the family. She needs to stay a little in her personal world, to find herself there. Indeed, in the closed circle of serving children and her husband, a woman is gradually lost.
Be vulnerable. You cannot always be as hard as flint. Sometimes you need to share your fears and feelings, quickly admit your mistakes.
Be transparent. A man who wants to gain trust should be willing to share himself. It is especially important to talk about what you don't want to. And it will take real courage to love to the fullest, while opening your soul and letting in your loved one. Many men fear that she will not like what she finds. But thanks to such frankness, a woman can fall in love with her chosen one, along with all his shortcomings. There is no place for masks in marriage. If it seems that behind them you can hide from problems and be an ideal husband, then you will never be able to fully feel the full depth of love.
Grow together. If the water in the pond stands still, then it will be covered with mud. And the muscles of a person atrophy if you do not work on them. All this has to do with relationships that will face the same fate if not developed. We need to find common goals, dreams and ideals and continue to work in this direction.
Don't think about money. You should treat money like a game. You just need to find ways to work as a team to win such a prize. Scattered one by one, you cannot win anything. It is worth finding ways to use the two sides of power.
Goodbye quickly. You can't let history take your relationship hostage. It is worth learning to immediately forgive your beloved and focus on the future. This is much more constructive than dragging the past with you. When we hold on to past mistakes, no matter even our own or hers, then our marriage is tightly attached to the past and does not allow development. Forgiveness is freedom. It is worth getting rid of such an anchor in favor of your love.
Always choose your love. Thanks to such work, happiness will appear.