How to recognize a lie


Man, by nature, is designed in such a way that he cannot live without communication. Thus, communication plays an exceptional role in our life.

But communication can deliver not only positive, but also negative emotions. It is especially offensive for a person when he perceived the information as the truth, and after a while he learned that it was a lie.

Indeed, we often do not notice when they lie to us. Is it possible to learn to recognize a lie? There is no cure for lies, it is unlikely that it will be possible to insure yourself against lies forever. A person is so arranged that sometimes he begins to lie even to himself, but so skillfully that he believes it.

However, any lie is nevertheless endowed with indirect signs that can bring it to the surface. You just need to pay attention to them during a conversation. In any case, hasty conclusions are not recommended. After all, you are not Sherlock Holmes (and even he was wrong sometimes).

The principle is that usually the one who passes falsehood as real feels uncomfortable. Even if the lie is harmless, the person still experiences a feeling of fear for what might be exposed. Unwittingly, he begins to get nervous. And even more so if the question is serious.

It takes great endurance and nerves of iron to lie. But even in this case, a person will nevertheless expose some signs of lies, they will indicate how strong his inner nervousness is. What are these signs? The first group of signs relates to the speech of your interlocutor.

1. Use of useless facts in speech. You ask one thing, and the answer contains something completely different. Talking about the interior instead of telling about the guests, a person tries to avoid talking about what he wants to hide. The liar will bring you a huge number of seemingly most believable stories. Purpose: To make the story credible.

2. The liar avoids a direct answer. The question you asked will be answered with another question. For example, you ask, "Have you seen my notebook?" Instead of an unambiguous "no", you might hear the following: "Where could I see her?" This situation is nothing more than avoiding a direct answer, by providing you with an indirect answer, that is, the interlocutor acts on the principle of “guess yourself”.

The following situation is subject to the same principle. You ask the interlocutor: "Do you really think that you will cope with the task?" Again, you get an ambiguous answer: "Friends treat me like a genius!" In this way, a person hides his self-doubt. Remember that liars tend to avoid yes and no answers. Ask a question that requires either a “yes” or “no” answer. Repeat this question until you get an unambiguous answer to it.

3. You have received an answer according to the question asked. Does your interlocutor's answer practically copy your question? There is reason to think about whether he does it because he does not have time to come up with his plausible version. Or you have to wait a long time for an answer, which can also be regarded as an active work of the interlocutor's brain in search of a better answer to you.

4. Amusing answers. You asked a question, but in response you heard an anecdote? Keep your ears open. What do you do in this case? Will you laugh at the wit of the interlocutor and stop bothering him? Think about whether your interlocutor is deliberately evading answering through jokes.

5. A person's nervousness (the cause of which is quite capable of being a lie) can be indicated by such external signs as a transition to a slower (or, conversely, faster) speech, frequent coughing, stuttering, heavy breathing, the appearance of beads of sweat on the forehead, a change in tone and the speaker's voice, etc. All this can testify to the inner work done by a person on himself in order to hide the truth.

What makes a sincere story different? When telling you a true story, the interlocutor, as a rule, comes back more than once, that is, clarifies some facts or supplements information. After all, when we tell something, we can forget about some nuances, as a result, we return to them later.

A liar is unlikely to do this, because all his attention is focused on a plausible presentation of a fictional story to you, you cannot go astray here, otherwise inaccuracies may be found in the speech. Associated with the body is a second group of signs that indicate that the person may be lying.

1. Pay attention to whether your interlocutor is trying to subconsciously shut out from you. This may be indicated by his hand movements: the liar may cover his mouth or constantly scratch his nose. As an attempt to put a barrier between yourself and you, you can also regard the movement of the interlocutor's head. Pay attention to whether the other person is dropping his head down or pulling her back.

2. The desire to leave as soon as possible is indicated by the fact of shifting from foot to foot. Taking a small step back (especially after you've asked the question) also indicates that the person is tense internally.

3. The complete absence of gesticulation also does not favor the narrator. This may indicate that he is completely focused on conveying fictional information to you as believably as possible. The active work of the brain in this case requires a lot of energy. Energy for such a thought process is borrowed from other parts of the body.

Be sure to pay attention to the emotions of your interlocutor.

First, excessive emotions (feigned) behave not in favor of sincerity. Through stormy joy or an overly emphasized politeness from nowhere, a person may try to hide his true feelings.

Second, a bad reaction can also be an attempt to hide real feelings. During the conversation, you joked, and the interlocutor smiled even when you started talking about something else - this situation is not uncommon in the case of deception, because the liar is completely focused on his fictional story and cannot immediately perceive what you are saying. In this kind of situation, it is difficult for your interlocutor to maintain the thread of the conversation.

You can experiment. Change the subject abruptly. Observe the reaction of the other person. If he gladly joins in its discussion (although five minutes ago he did not directly answer your questions), then most likely he was telling a lie before.

The liar perceives such a situation as a relief, because it gives him a chance to get away from a previous conversation that he did not like. But if your interlocutor did not even think to lie to you, then he would rather be surprised than delighted to change the topic and try to return to the previous conversation.

Consider how long it takes for your interviewee to answer a question that was asked by surprise. The sooner he answers it, the less you can doubt the truthfulness of the person.

If you have doubts about the sincerity of the interlocutor's words, then indirectly let him know about your feelings. How to do it? Pause after the interlocutor's remark. If he is lying, then you will immediately see uncertainty or embarrassment on his face, but if he speaks the truth, then his natural reaction will be irritation or a gaze at you.

The inner nervousness of a person (the cause of which may well be a lie) is also indicated by eye movements. After all, it is not for nothing that the eyes of the people are called nothing else than the "mirror of the soul." A person perceives information if his gaze is direct. But, for example, if the eyes "run", then perhaps your interlocutor is trying to hide something from you, while he unconsciously avoids making eye contact.

And one more piece of advice: learn during a conversation to notice whether the speaker has the above signs that indicate his untruthfulness. However, you do not need to immediately expose the person, because, perhaps, you were mistaken, and you can offend him. What you take as an attempt to lie to you may simply be the result of the other person's tiredness.

The combination of these or those signs that you noticed in the course of a conversation does not yet make your interlocutor a liar. Man is always very complex. Remember this before drawing conclusions. And never do them in haste.

An interesting fact, due to the fact that women live with feelings, they are more acutely aware of lies and much more skillfully deceive. As for men, as a rule, logic takes the first position. Male lies are much easier to expose than female lies, and it is more difficult for the stronger sex to deceive. A woman more subtly feels the words spoken to her, she first of all pays attention to a person's behavior.


Watch the video: How to deal with Impostor Syndrome ft. Maya. Dr. K Interviews


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