American psychologist Eric Byrne introduced into science such a concept as "life path scenario" (aka "fate scenario"). A significant number of people at the subconscious level have created a scenario (life plan) for themselves.
According to this scenario, most people structure periods of time of different lengths: it can be either months or years. As a rule, the basis for scenarios lies in childhood, in childhood dreams and illusions that can accompany a person throughout his life.
What is a script? Synonyms for "scenario" can be such words as "program", "plan". As with theatrical performances, plays, programs and life plans are “written” in advance. Moreover, like any other script, the script for life has its own author. The formation of a person's fate is influenced by different people and factors, but parents have a decisive, important impact on the fate of their child.
Let's take an example. Mom, raising her son alone, protects him so much that the boy gets the idea that he is not capable of anything. In addition, my mother often repeats: “How weak you are! I don't even know if you can start and maintain a family! " As a result, a man grows out of a boy, afraid to take responsibility for his family, making decisions with difficulty, incapable of a responsible act, etc.
Fairy tales, loved by a person in the early stages of his life, also have a huge impact on his further destiny. You will be surprised, but you will find a lot of similarities in your behavior and the behavior of that fairy-tale hero, whom you never parted with in childhood. For example, "Little Mermaids" and "Thumbelina" are susceptible to sacrificial love, "koloboks" cannot stop for a long time on any business; without encountering serious obstacles, they roll through life, etc.
It can be said with all fairness that man is the creator of his own destiny. His ability to think and rationally perceive the world around him determine his fate. Each person plans his life path independently. Freedom and strength are two components that any person needs.
Freedom is directly related to the plans that a person intends to implement. Strength allows a person to comprehend the freedom in his hands. This is also typical for the case when the genetic code, along with relatives and friends, determined the life path of a particular person. The life of such a person is constantly in a state of struggle.
Thus, fate is determined by two main factors:
1.the influence of parents on the formation of the psyche of their child;
2. subconscious programming by a person of the plot, along which the entire life path or a certain period of time should pass.
So how do you change your destiny? Any deed brought to life is generated either by the independent will of a person, or is an integral part of the "script". A psychologist will argue that your behavior is "scenario" if, for example, you complain to him that your fate is determined by a bad fate, that you feel the oppressive influence of circumstances during the day and night, etc. Circling is what characterizes scripted behavior.
If similar life episodes are constantly repeated, then the best option would be to consult a psychotherapist. For example, for an American, there is nothing shameful if he went to see a psychotherapist. This situation is not typical for Russia, which may be due to our worldview, culture and upbringing.
We do not want to "wash dirty linen in public," even if the hut is our consciousness, and the rubbish is our thoughts. In this case, introspection will help. Doing it yourself is not easy. And yet, any person is able to help himself by his own efforts.
First, we should realize the attitudes that we acquired at a very early age, an adult person is quite capable of implementing such an attempt. A person must assess the extent to which attitudes often repeated in childhood by parents and close people influenced his future destiny.
A good effect will be if there is someone to talk to about this topic, so to speak, "pour out your soul." This can be a close friend or girlfriend and, of course, a sister or brother. Let's give an example. If a boy constantly repeats something like “men shouldn't complain and cry,” then a boy - a future man - can grow up withdrawn and unable to express his feelings. These not very good qualities can accompany him throughout his life.
It is possible that you are at the mercy of the first childhood memory. For example, if such is the "poking" in kindergarten for an age that is slightly less than the average for the group, then a child can grow into an adult who slightly, but feels his "worse" in comparison with others, some minor, but inferiority.
When you have found out what is your obstacle, then you are quite capable of freeing yourself from the program that prevents you from changing your fate. This applies to the most important events in your life, such as career growth, starting a family, having children, etc. You must take the following steps.
Step one. Identify the reason for the recurrence of events in your life. Answer the following questions and then analyze them:
1. What is the common cause of recurrence of episodes?
2. Who are the actors in each specific episode, and are there any similarities between them, if we consider all the episodes together?
3. What do you do with each recurring episode?
All you need is to find a pattern, arrange all events in one logical series. The causes of all sorts of troubles often lie in ourselves. Only by identifying these reasons, you can turn your destiny. The reason for failures can be both the attitude you received in childhood (for example, you were constantly told that there were only dishonest people around, and now you only deal with such people), and a plot created exclusively by you (after any defeat, you programmed yourself as a loser in all matters).
Step two. Put excuses aside. Forget about such combinations of words as "I could make it a reality if ..." or "If only ...". Look at events that have already taken place from a different angle. For example, several years have passed since you did not enter a higher education institution. " However, from time to time you convince yourself that you could become well, just an excellent student in the event that there were no entrance tests. Most likely, there were a lot of similar moments in your life. What do you need? You do not need to lament "If only ...", but evaluate the reasons why you did not even try to pass the exams. There may be various reasons. This is laziness, and family attitudes (to work right away, and not "sit out your pants" at the university), and doubt about luck (lack of confidence in a loved one), and insufficient preparation, etc. Think about what could be done in This moment. Systematize this approach to introspection to avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Step three. Stop looking for the culprit. Neither circumstances, nor the people around you, nor you yourself should become a source of guilt in what happened. Both the feeling of resentment and the feeling of guilt have never been and will not be a good adviser for you or for anyone else. Do you have a problem with fate? This article is intended to help you, but not to turn you against your parents. They are not to blame for the course of your life. To a greater extent, a person himself is the creator of his own destiny and often writes with his own hand this or that plot, positive or negative (almost always without knowing it).
Step four. Do not expect the result to be immediate. Don't disappoint yourself if you don't get instant results. It takes a long period of time for the human psyche to rebuild on a "new wave". The psyche is an extremely complex instrument. You need to be able to look fate in the eye. You should not curse your fate, but make friends with it. Don't be afraid to look back. Learn to see the good in your past, and not just the negative combination of circumstances.
Think about whether you yourself are striving for adversity. No, not that consciously. It is about your subconscious desire. It often happens that a person generally likes to feel unhappy, he begins to feel sorry for himself, receiving satisfaction from pity. He seeks pity and support from other people. He lives by it. You "compose" yourself as a happy person. Don't make a chain of negative events to justify your dramatic plot. Build the plot of a happy person.